Saturday, September 29, 2007

Sometimes it's best to buy new

Recently, I was in a used book store where I saw a whole shelf of second-hand Bathroom Readers.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Just like me - exquisitely delicate

Yesterday my lovely friend Paige sent me an email telling me about her weekend:

"In our boredom, we stumbled across The Shopping Channel and there was a doll on there that Paul thought looked like you at our wedding. So here you are, in doll form (you're the one in pink, by the way. Not the homely midget girl)."

I was a little afraid to open up the attachment. But when I did, I was surprised to see that Paul was right. The doll kind of does look like I did at their wedding. Brown flippy hair, pink strapless dress, and skin the colour of Elmer's Glue.

Sweet! Now I know exactly what to get Paige and Paul for their anniversary. Not only is it a gift they'll treasure for a lifetime but it can also be purchased in just three easy payments.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

It ain't easy being greazy

Kyle comes home for lunch. I am typing away at the computer, still in my pajamas.

Kyle: You showered and put on dirty clothes?
Me: No...
Kyle: But your hair is wet
Me: No it's not
Kyle: Oh ... Sorry


Monday, September 17, 2007

They are as dangerous as they are delicious

Today was filling day. My dentist was fantastic and I was very cool and collected. I think it's because of the stress-reducing fish tank that my dentist uses to create a calming atmosphere. Maybe the fish absorb patients' anxiety, in which case, one of them will probably be belly-up by tomorrow morning.

As I was paying my bill and talking to the receptionist, I tried to put on some lip gloss. But because my mouth was frozen, my top lip disappeared mid-application and I shmeared it all over my front teeth. That was awkward.

And now just for fun...a lobster knife fight. Poor guy on the left. His knife is backwards.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Shameless plug!

I just got back from the library where I picked up a book I have been waiting on for weeks. I am so excited about this book that I can barely contain myself! The author provides information about environmentally friendly products and services in Canada. While some of the contents are a bit frightening, I felt hopeful after reading some her practical solutions and tips. For those of us who can't spend tons of money, it's nice to know that IKEA has a good reputation for using less toxic materials. For example, unlike many manufacturers, IKEA doesn't bind the pressed wood used to make cribs, beds, and shelves with formaldehyde (a cancer-causing chemical).

I also bought a new mop today. Kyle thinks our current mop is "creepy and dirty" just because a moth flew out of it and it's tangled with a multicoloured tapestry of hair...

The mop I chose is made by Method, a company that I absolutely adore. Not only are their products naturally-derived, they also smell fantastic and look great...which caters nicely to my weakness for good packaging. We use tons of their stuff - from body wash to leather cleaner.

Move over Kyle. Tonight your spot in our bed will be occupied by our new mop and my library book.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

What time is it?

I really like going to medical appointments and talking about my health. So much so that I'm afraid that my doctor will sense my weird enthusiasm and think I have Munchhausen syndrome. Dental appointments, I love a bit less. Actually a lot less. But I have this strange pride about my teeth and want to show up with the cleanest, whitest, most cavity-free teeth my dentist has ever had the privilege to examine. But despite my faithful brushing and flossing, that does not seem to be my dental destiny.

At my last dental cleaning, I was flinching a bit while the hygienist scraped off hunks of my gums. Noticing my discomfort she looked at me without a trace of compassion and said, "It hurts, hey? Well that's because you have gingivitis."
Gingivitis? Nooooo!

I laid in the chair, blinded with shame. I felt like someone had caught me eating my boogers. Or that my dentist and his staff were discussing the secret joy I took from reading Hollywood gossip in the waiting room.

Anyway, this time the dentist was dictating to his assistant and said "staining minimal" yes!, tartar minimal, yes! , and that my gums were looking very healthy. YES!!

I was feeling very proud of having aced my dental report card until he looked at my x-rays and told me I have four cavities - one that needs filling and three that we should "keep an eye on". Booo. That requires needles, drooling, and that weird burny tooth smell. There's also the potential for me to get so tense that tears well up in (and spill out of) my eyes while they're working on me. That's much more embarassing than gingivitis.

Background by Jennifer Furlotte / Pixels and IceCream