Tuesday, April 24, 2007

If I comment on your blog before 5pm, write me a mean message in CAPS

Okay, that's it. No more messing around on the Internet today. Instead, I will endure a mild depression as I rework (for the 12455th time) a paper that I wrote over a year ago and am loving less by the minute.

I'm trying to think of school as my job and so far this week, I'm a terrible employee. Yesterday I did nothing school-related. And today, I showed up to work at 8:45 in my pajamas without my hair brushed and then proceeded to write emails and bother my sisters over facebook for 45 minutes. But now I will be a model employee (aside from the continued wardrobe problems) and get to work.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

The Life and Times of Creep Toe

A few summers ago, Kyle's toe got stomped by some cleat-wearing guy on an opposing slow pitch team. I think that was the first time Kyle dropped an F-bomb at his Christian slow pitch league.

Anyway, Kyle's toe was hurt pretty bad. It got all puffy and bruised with a sick blood blister. The nail was a real trooper, hanging on for days and days after it blackened. One afternoon, when Kyle wore sandals to take the dog for a walk, Chaz got excited and started jumping around. Somehow, his sharp little nail collided with Creep Toe and the blood blister exploded. Kyle came home looking like something from CSI, with a deflated toe and blood splatter all over him and the dog. Not long after, the nail fell off, the bruises went away, and Creep Toe matured to become a fairly normal looking toe aside from his thick bumpy nail.

Thankfully, we were left with more than just our memories of young Creep Toe. Before the incident with Chaz, Kyle took a whole bunch of pictures of his toe in all it's bruisy glory. As a result of Kyle's quest for the perfect image to capture the nuances of his injury, we have shots of Creep Toe in a variety of locations, angles, and lighting conditions.

Our screen saver is set to scroll through our uploaded photos, which now include about 247 images of Creep Toe. As our computer is visible from the living room, lots of guests have commented on how frequently a photo of Kyle's disgusting toe scrolls by. It's as though Creep Toe is our beloved child and our guests are treated to a slideshow of his greatest moments.

"Oh look! There he is on the bathroom counter. Look at how much he'd grown..."

"And there he is sliding around on the hardwood. How sweet!"

"Ah Creep Toe, just chillin on the front steps with his nail hanging half off."

Saturday, April 14, 2007

On Being a Lazy Turd

On my 25 minute walk to school, I walk up University Drive past the football Stadium where lots of students park their cars. Invariably, there are at least ten students waiting there to catch a bus that will spare them the five minute walk to campus. Typically, I walk past them self-righteously, muttering inwardly about how these lazy turds won't walk the 500m from car to class.

Anyway, this Monday I was rushing to school to meet my friend Sanni. After having already walked 20 minutes, I was passing the stadium when I noticed an approaching bus. Because I was on the verge of being late, I decided to hop on the bus, ride it to the University, and impress Sanni with my timeliness. Two minutes after embarking I rang the bell, approached the bus door, and thanked the driver. He turned to me and said without smiling, "Tomorrow you will walk the whole way to school." It was not a request but a command. Since when do bus drivers order their passengers to walk? I guess he also dislikes lazy turds. And in his world, I was one of them.

I wanted to defend myself and explain my situation. But as usual, I had nothing to say in the moment so I laughed uncomfortably and hopped off the bus. I guess now I'll have more compassion for the lazy turds of my world...but not for grouchy bus drivers.

Saturday, April 7, 2007

Chaz: 3... Jamie and Kyle: 0

This morning when Kyle got out of bed he was greeted with a pile of dog puke in the middle of our area rug. And we were just getting used to the pea-green stain left by the larger pile of dog vomit I found on Wednesday.

Our house is entirely floored in hardwood and tile except for the 4X6 area rug in our living room. There are a million places that Chaz could barf without leaving permanent scars. I'm beginning to think that selective puking is his only means of revenge for all the injustice and indignity he suffers at our hands: listening to my songs about how much he stinks, not being allowed to sleep in our bed, insufficient belly rubbing...

And the time before the two carpet puking incidents? He barfed on our bed, soaking through the duvet cover, down duvet, sheets, and matress cover. As I write this he's probably skulking around, trying to figure out how to unzip the garment bag that holds my wedding dress.

And Now for Something Completely Different

I've had enough of snow and cold. It's time for Spring and I'm willing it into existence!

Friday, April 6, 2007

Good Friday

Typically Good Friday has just been another long-weekend holiday for me but as I lay in bed this morning, I found myself thinking about how I might mark this day and make meaning of it for myself.

Unfortunately, I'll be spending much of the day writing a paper. But sitting at the computer, I've let my mind wander around the idea of the crucifixion, wondering how Good Friday fits into my faith.

A few years ago, I read about a controversial photograph taken by Andreas Serrano. The photograph is called "Piss Christ" and it depicts a crucifix submerged in a jar of the artist's urine. While many touted this piece as important to freedom of expression, others were offended, hurt, and angered by it.

But I am moved by this image. It cuts to the heart of what Christianity and Good Friday are about - an unsanitized God who joins with humanity in our vulnerability to dirtiness, pain, suffering, and abuse. And a God who responds to the ugly parts of humanness with love, compassion, and grace.

In his poem about the piece, Andrew Hudgins describes Piss Christ as depicting:
"the whole irreducible point of the faith,
God thrown in human waste, submerged and shining."

And so I am taking time today to meditate on Jesus ... submerged and shining.

Background by Jennifer Furlotte / Pixels and IceCream