Saturday, April 14, 2007

On Being a Lazy Turd

On my 25 minute walk to school, I walk up University Drive past the football Stadium where lots of students park their cars. Invariably, there are at least ten students waiting there to catch a bus that will spare them the five minute walk to campus. Typically, I walk past them self-righteously, muttering inwardly about how these lazy turds won't walk the 500m from car to class.


Anyway, this Monday I was rushing to school to meet my friend Sanni. After having already walked 20 minutes, I was passing the stadium when I noticed an approaching bus. Because I was on the verge of being late, I decided to hop on the bus, ride it to the University, and impress Sanni with my timeliness. Two minutes after embarking I rang the bell, approached the bus door, and thanked the driver. He turned to me and said without smiling, "Tomorrow you will walk the whole way to school." It was not a request but a command. Since when do bus drivers order their passengers to walk? I guess he also dislikes lazy turds. And in his world, I was one of them.

I wanted to defend myself and explain my situation. But as usual, I had nothing to say in the moment so I laughed uncomfortably and hopped off the bus. I guess now I'll have more compassion for the lazy turds of my world...but not for grouchy bus drivers.

10 comments:

Karen said...

I don't think you're a lazy turd!

Avey said...

woah, he was a grumpy one. Some bus drivers are just like that. There are a few really great ones, and many really grumpy ones.

Bettina Poulsen said...

You poor thing! Here you were trying to be on time, using a service that is supposed to insure just that, and then you get to ride with a bus driver like that!
If he only knew what a faithful walker you are, I'm sure he'd be impressed with you and ashamed of his behavior!
Keep on walking with your chin lifted high! You are not a lazy turd!

Perpetualstudent said...

Maybe telling people to walk is part of their 'work to rule' campaign. Guess he forgot that if everyone walks he no longer has a job!

Paul said...

Maybe he has a very, very, very dry sense of humour? Or he's an ass. You should dowse yourself in perfume next time you ride the bus; I hear they respond well to that.

Jamie said...

Well I am a bit of a lazy turd, truth be known. I walk to school more because I think busses are gross and it takes only a bit longer to walk.

Maybe it is totally part of the work to rule. We'll see how my new perfumy self is received on the bus tomorrow morning.

Celia said...

What a silly bus driver.
I love it when that happens and a bus pulls up just as you getting to the stop. Why did he have to go and ruin that for you?

Paige said...

There was someone oozing like the Body Shop on the bus yesterday and I couldn't help think of your blog post, Jamie. And don't let that get you down, bus drivers are the laziest turds out there, all they do is sit all day.

Scott and Alanna said...

Ok James, I must ask, you mentioned that you rang the bell at the University station. I'm assuming, because I know you're a smart person that it was for the early stop that the bus sometimes doesn't stop at. Because I'd hate to think you are one of those people who rings the bell at the main university stop. The one where the bus always stops because it has to wait there for 10 minutes. Throughout my whole university career, I waited and waited for the day that we'd arrive at that stop and no one would feel the need to pull that bell. It never happened. (And I do think you're a lazy turd)

Jamie said...

Alanna, you know I'm no bell-ringing fool. I always just get off at the bus loop and smirk to myself at those who don't know the "system" and go ringing bells unnecessarily. Plus, not having to ring the bell really suits my lazy turdiness.

 
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