Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Open Letter 2

Dear Person Who Tried on My Shirt Before I Bought It,
Even without meeting you, I know we share some things in common. We both shop at Ricki's and we were both drawn to the fun bright-green work shirt. We both tried on the shirt but for some reason, you didn't buy it. Too big? Too green? Too awesome?

Unlike you, I decided to buy the shirt and take it home. Today is St. Patrick's Day. I wanted to get into the spirit of the day by wearing my new green shirt. Unfortunately, I hadn't taken the time to wash it. I know I should have washed it. I know I am gross.

As I was putting on the shirt, I thought about the creepy factory chemicals and dyes that would be riding around on my skin all day. What I didn't think about was the other thing that we now have in common - smelling of your body odour.

At work, when I lifted my elbow to pour my cup of coffee, I caught a whiff of B. O. I quickly looked around to spot the offender. Little did I know, the offender was not in the room. A few smelly wafts later, I figured out that the smell was coming from me. I was confused, as I distinctly remembered applying antiperspirant only an hour earlier.

After some covert underarm investigation, I realized that the offending odour was not emanating from my armpits but from my shirt. My awesome new green shirt. Ugh! All day I have walked around smelling of your B.O.. I spent my working hours holding my arms close to my body to prevent your essence from ascending into the nostrils of my coworkers.

Person Who Tried on My Shirt Before I Bought It, you made me keenly aware of the value of lesson I learned as a young child. I should always, ALWAYS wash my clothes before wearing them.


Avey said...

Oh Jamie, I was just thinking today that I missed your posts! And what a great one - it was worth the wait! I don't think I have ever washed an article of clothing before wearing it. I feel like the second you wash it, it's a little more worn out. But now I"ve learned my lesson... from your mistake. Thanks James!

Aimee said...

wonderful writing. you crack me up!!!

Heather M. said...

eeks! gross. your writing though is hilarious! i've missed your posts.

DaveJenn said...

This post WAS worth waiting for. I love it. Although, I don't know if I have ever washed a new shirt before I have worn it...unless I got it at a second hand store and even then, not always. Very educational post.


heather said...

I agree with Avey and Jenn, but now I'm definitely washing my new clothes. Oh Jamie, you're make me laugh.

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