Blogging isn't the only thing that isn't getting done around here

Kyle and I have an understanding about certain tasks that need to be done around the house. For example, because putting sheets on the bed makes me want to poke my eyes out, Kyle has agreed to do that job. And I put the clean dishes away to spare Kyle the frustration of handling the dishes that he swears must have been loaded into the dishwasher by a blind monkey.
...
But organizing and dropping off the recycling is something that we both hate equally and nobody is willing to take one for the team when it comes to this household task. Consequently, a massive pile of junk piles up until we can no longer close the pantry door and our food becomes nearly inaccessible. Any time we want some mini wheats or Kahlua (or both), we have to take the risk of being swept across the kitchen floor in an avalanche of refuse. We've learned to remain calm, swim with the flow of recyclables and try to grab onto the fridge door handle if we can.
..
Even though we do have a serious recycling problem, our habit of letting the stuff accumulate did save me from some marital strife last March when we were doing our taxes. After having searched the house high and low for an important letter from my bank, I came to the agonizing conclusion that I had to dig through our mountain of recycling. It was no small task but thankfully, just as Kyle was preparing to give me a flying head-butt, I produced the tax form from the bottom of one of the bins. Hooray! It took me ages to shove everything back into the pantry but we did get our taxes in on time.

Who knows what treasures are hidden down there this time?

Ouch

Me: "Oh Chaz, come here. You're so cute. Let's snuggle."
....
I lay down on the floor beside the dog and start scratching his head.
.....
Kyle: "You want to snuggle with that grubber?"
.....
Chaz looks at me blankly, gets up, and walks away, leaving me alone on the cold floor.
.....
Kyle: "I was talking to the dog."

I get off the floor and chase Kyle down the hall.

Petunia

Tuesday night, Kyle and I are out for a late walk in our neighbourhood. On our way home, I hear a cat meowing and call it over so that I can pet it.

.....

We pause on the sidewalk to hear more meowing and a weird rustling noise. But no cat. Then, all of a sudden, the cat appears and Kyle and I nervously take a step backward. The cat is not walking toward us but dragging herself furiously in our direction with her front paws. Her back legs and tail are motionless, trailing in the dirt behind her. She scooches up to me and starts dragging herself around my legs, meowing and waiting for some love.

...

"Oh crap. I think this cat has been hit by a car or something."

....

"What should we do?"

....
"I don't know. We could take her to an emergency clinic. But I'm afraid to pick her up. I might hurt her."

.....

Meanwhile, the cat is still meowing and trying to get some affection. I nervously lean down to pet her. She definitely doesn't seem in pain and keeps scraping herself along the sidewalk between Kyle and myself. As we look down at her in the dark, we see something smooth discoloured on her back end. Kyle and I both think it must be road rash.

....

"I could go home and get a box while you wait with the cat."

.....

"Hey! She's wearing a diaper. A little purple plastic cat diaper!"

......

"Weird...So she's probably okay."

.......

"Yeah, but who would leave her outside if her back legs are paralyzed? She can't run away from anything and would get herself worked in a cat fight. She must have escaped."

.......

It's eleven o'clock. Kyle starts looking toward the nearby houses to see if any have lights on. He notices a woman standing in the window of one, watching us. By this time we've probably been standing around for five minutes discussing what we should do with the cat. Kyle walks up to the house and knocks on the door. I can overhear their conversation from where I stand petting the cat.

.........

Friendly Woman: Oh you scared me!

.....

Kyle: Um...do you have a cat that doesn't walk so well?

......

Woman: Oh yeah. That's Petunia! She's a paraplegic. She's been like that for three years. Most people clue in when they see the diaper.

......

Kyle: Oh okay. We thought maybe she'd escaped.

......

Woman: No. She loves to run around outside. She doesn't know she's challenged and she's not in any pain. We built a ramp for her at the back door.

......

Kyle: Okay. I just thought I'd check.

....

Meanwhile Petunia is still happily dragging herself in circles on the sidewalk beside me. Shaking our heads and laughing, we head home in the dark with Petunia following us for a few metres before we outpace her.

Whoever Said They Were Gentle Giants?

I was browsing through files on my computer today when I spotted this fantastic image. For a while, Kyle and I made a game of changing each other's backgrounds on the computer (on our PC, as with the bank, Kyle and I have separate accounts). This image of the manatee/Hindenburg disaster is one that I set as Kyle's background, using it to creatively remind him of my love for the sea cow.
..........

One evening after Kyle had sneakily changed my background, I logged onto the computer and let out a huge scream when this guy popped up unexpectedly, filling the whole screen.

He is Li'l Sam, three-time winner of the World's Ugliest Dog competition. No, that isn't a chicken bone he's gnawing on. It is his own foot. Sadly, Li'l Sam died last year but he sure did deserve his title. I can't be certain but I think this picture was taken before he died.

Where Did They Get the Halter Top?

This video is of over 1500 prisoners at a Detention and Rehabilitation Centre in the Philippines practicing "Thriller". The video quality isn't great but the concept is awesome and the dancing - oh so good! Somebody on You Tube has posted a bunch of videos of these guys dancing and marching. Oddly enough, a lot of them are to songs from "Sister Act."

Speaking of Sister Act, Kyle and I saw two of our neighbourhood nuns at Safeway last night. They bought a cantaloupe.

Possibly My Worst Idea Ever

Recently I saw something on TV about how keeping anything plugged into the wall, even when it's not being used, consumes electricity. Consequently, I've been trying to unplug kettles, lamps, the toaster oven, etc. Last week I was ironing some clothes in the basement and noticed how many of our outlets were filled with plugs. In the name of environmentalism, I happily wandered around unplugging everything.
..

Two days later, we were planning to go to Kyle's parent's for a barbeque. After Kyle went downstairs to get some hamburger from the freezer, I heard him call my name. I went down, thinking that my sister Kristed's lovely dog might have left a dookie in a dark corner of our basement. However, when I got to the bottom of the stairs I saw Kyle standing in a puddle in front of our darkened freezer, looking confused.

....
"Jamie, something is wrong with the freezer. It's not working"

......

My stomach dropped between my feet and for a fleeting moment, I considered blaming it on Kristed...or her dog. Anybody...

.....

"Ah... ... I... unplugged it."
...

"WHAT?!"

..

Needless to say, Kyle was pretty upset. He grabbed a giant rubber bin and started whipping melting objects out of our freezer. When he asked to be left alone with my puddly disaster, I skulked upstairs and waited quietly.

. ..

Thankfully, our freezer is really new and most of the meat was still half-frozen. Oh man, I can't imagine how much trouble I would have been in if it had sat there for a couple more days. In my defense, the freezer was plugged into an extension cord, and attached to a distant wall. It's not as though I walked behind the freezer and yanked on it.
....

Kyle did get over his quiet rage after about an hour, although he did threaten to resurrect his blog again. The last time he did that was when I didn't quite kill a fly before putting it in the garbage and it buzzed/dragged itself onto his hand while he was throwing something out.

But You Complete Me

Link

I've been a blog slacker. A new post will be coming very soon.